I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
