Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this will be a night to untag.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
