This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize