peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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