I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
