I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
