We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
