I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The air was thick with penises
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
