dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
