wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
