I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
