Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
