wrigley field is MILF paradise
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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