Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize