Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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