you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
