do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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