He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
