There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize