so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
