I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize