He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
