this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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