I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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