I met the friendliest cop last night
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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