Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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