True but thats because hes a fetus.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
