wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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