The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
