I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
