so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
