my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
