I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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