i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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