just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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