dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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