so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
