We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
