guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize