there was a trapeze. enough said
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
