i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Randomize
