my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
porn star boner night. come get it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
