I want to walk on stilts...naked
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
