i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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