I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
