Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
