I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
