I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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