Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, beer. Big fan.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
