i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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