I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
