i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
