Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
