physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
