you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize