I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
