I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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