I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
