remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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