I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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