White coat. Heels.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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