I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
