it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
