your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I intend to get homeless drunk
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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