I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
