im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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