my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
