she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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