Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
