i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
