I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize