I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He kissed a someone with a penis
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize