He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
