What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think my moral compass just broke
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize