Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
