I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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