hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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