absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
