Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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