i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
