we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
