He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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