3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
