toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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