it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
